Night Owl Problems

Hoot hoot. That's me. Awake, working, functioning and living my life in the dark of night. Sounds like fun right? It can be, but I'm guessing that's a negatory for most anyone else. I'm guessing anyone who takes the time to read this is not a night owl and can't recall the last time they pulled an all-nighter, much less an all-nighter spent working. The truth is that work sucks in general, but most people spend their time at work during what is considered normal daytime hours. If you know me at all, you know that my "normal" work hours are from 8 pm to 6 am. In the winter, I go to work in the dark and leave in  the dark. I sleep until 2-3 pm in the afternoon and work almost all weekends and holidays. So what does that mean to you day and normal shift working people? Nothing. What does it mean to me? A lot. People who have never worked shift-work, nights, holidays or weekends don't know and couldn't possibly know what living your life on the dark side is like, which is why it can make living with daylight people so difficult for us.  Some people don't respect our lifestyle at all, which makes it harder for us to try and fit entirely into theirs. "Normal" shift-working people are very fortunate to work on days and at times when pretty much everyone else does. To have a set schedule, weekends and holidays guaranteed to you. What is my point? It's not to ask you to work my schedule or pity me because this is something that I chose, it's simply to enlighten and to share a little of what my life looks like on what I like to call "night owl, vampire or bat status."

I already mentioned that I work 8 pm to 6 am, pretty much when all of you day people are going to sleep and waking up. I work 4-10's or four days a week for 10 hours. My days off vary, but in the 3 years I have been at my job, they have always been weekdays. I work holidays and usually almost all of them. Sounds like something you would want to do? Yeah, no. I realize that I chose to work the job that I do, but I didn't choose for people to not take the time or care to try and understand it. Despite the fact that I am a night owl and I don't necessarily mind working nights, I do mind missing out on some of the things that come with the day.

Working graves as I do, I sleep until afternoon most days. I must use blackout curtains to make my room dark and sometimes earplugs to block out the activity of the rest of the world who is not sleeping along with me. You all have it made when it comes to noise complaints. Noise that is not unreasonable is technically allowed between 7 am and 10 pm. So any hour I am sleeping, noise can pretty much be made. Have you ever had to see how maddening it is to have someone jack-hammering outside of your window in what is the middle of your night and you can't do ANYTHING about it!! Because it's allowed, it's daytime, no one cares that you're sleeping, get with the program and get a regular job!!

Asking night people to do things in the middle of your day is like me asking you to come hang out at 1 am. The middle of the day for me is in the middle of the night. So "can't you make it to brunch at 11 am?" is a ridiculous request. I can't tell you how many days I have been up for over 24 hours and gotten no sleep or had to shove coffee, Red Bull or whatever else I can find down my throat to make shit happen. And don't get me wrong, I don't expect to have everything moved for me because I am just one friend or family member out of many, but there is room for accommodation some of the time. Do something early so I can go home and go to bed afterwards. Do something later so I don't have to get up in the middle of my night and only get 4 hours of sleep. Night people miss things because we need sleep too. I do what I can to make it to what I can, but if the people in your life don't understand your schedule and insist on planning things they know you can't make, the "sorry you can't make it because you're working," line, gets old. Sometimes it's a choice other people have made and this is stressful for us because we WANT to be there.

And if missing out on friend and family functions weren't bad enough, I hardly see my husband during our work week. We work the same days currently, but completely opposite hours. I work 10 hour days at night, he works 12 hour days in the day. He is at work while I sleep and am up before work, he is home while I am at work, and he is asleep when I get off work in the morning. We don't physically see each other awake for 4 and a half days a week. Our conversations are reduced to phone calls, texts and notes. How does that sound? I know of no one else, that goes through that.

The malls, banks and businesses are all open to accommodate day people so it's tough to get to those things without missing out on a little sleep. I have missed out on getting so many things done because I wake up when things close or certain places are closed on Saturday and Sunday, which are practically the middle of my week. I propose there be a community of businesses like this to be built to be open for night people. Seriously.

No one can ever hang. You're the only one who can stay up all night anymore so you're up and ready to go when everyone else is winding down. Drunken dance party for one! Again! Woo hoo. Yeah.

Not to mention that the overall lack of sleep, and disruption of normal sleep hours can have more permanent effects on us. We are said to die a couple years sooner and to be more likely (women anyway) to get breast cancer. Lovely huh?

So overall it can be a shitty situation.

So I don't mean to bitch here regardless of any bitching that was done, but I wanted to shed light on a topic I feel most people know nothing about...what it's like for people like me to live this kind of life. So when I get a little brat-tastic when people disregard how I might feel about having to miss out on so many things, take a minute and think. I know me nor anyone I know who works this way EXPECTS people to change everything all of the time for us, but every once in awhile couldn't hurt. We are friends and family members too and we don't like to miss out or be left out anymore than anyone would. So next time you find yourself in the company of a night person, don't assume that we EXPECT you to understand because we don't. But it would be nice for people to at least try, and if we really mean that much to you, take time every now and then and try to do things our way. We do it for you...

http://www.ehow.com/list_7611856_negative-effects-night-shift-work.html


http://dailyuw.com/news/2008/jan/16/what-you-need-to-know-about-working-the-graveyard/

http://www.ueunion.org/stwd_fatigueshift.html

Listen IF you can

I have learned much about the truth behind this statement quite recently. So much that I have begun to keep my mouth shut, in certain situations anyway. I have always been one to share my feelings through words. I love words and the meanings, emotions and thoughts they can inspire. I know the power a word or phrase can have and how communication is such an essential part of our world. Sometimes though, no matter your intention and no matter how important words can be, there are some people who will just never understand them or you for that matter.

I am not one to ever say that I can be "silenced." I believe we should be free to say what we feel and shouldn't ever hold who we are back. This is of course to say that what you are saying is not intentionally hurtful because using words as weapons is never OK, but sometimes among certain company, your words can hurt yourself.

Sometimes I feel like we are all kind of like a puzzle. A complex riddle that very few others can ever completely figure out. Some people get pretty close, but the tangled web of unique and chaotic human being we each are can never truly be unraveled. When we find ourselves in moments and in situations with people who know very little about us or don't care to understand, the words we say are open to all kinds of misinterpretation. They can't  figure out our puzzle. Some people just don't get our sense of humor, understand the words we use or simply just don't like us so they take everything we say and twist it to meet their own agenda or to find more fault in us. Sometimes we're kind of damned either way, to either not speak at all or to speak and be misunderstood.

So I am constantly learning, always getting better and learning from my mistakes. Sometimes it's not even my mistake, simply that I entrusted much more to someone than they deserved and I am revoking their previous privileges. So my lesson has been that I need to have a better filter. To know when to say something and when to say nothing. To know what to say and what to keep to myself. To know who will appreciate my words and who could give a shit less. For someone like me who loves words and loves using them, there is nothing more crushing than to have someone misunderstand or take your words and use them for something other than what you intended them for. Or to say something whole-heartedly for the betterment of something or someone and have it ignored. To know that someone "can hear you, but they can't understand." Picture this: it's like if your words actually visibly came out of your mouth when you spoke, you could watch them soar across the room and bounce right off someone's face. They can hear, but cannot absorb. 'Tis incredibly frustrating.

So if anyone happens to notice my quiet or lack of posts, never fear for I am still here ;) I am just being a little more selective about what I say and to whom I say it. I feel like I am always saying things like this, but I guess that is because my words mean a great deal to me and I take it kind of personally whenever they are not used the way they were intended. My words are precious to me and I don't like to waste them on deaf, disinterested or disrespectful ears. Listen.  Hear me, if you can.