Fakebook

                      

Fakebook. What Facebook should really be called.

"Facebook helps you connect and share with the people in your life." Sometimes it does. And sometimes it can also connect people who don't know each other or are in each other's lives at all. People who are complete strangers, acquaintances, creepers and sometimes, people we don't even like.

Facebook and I have a love/hate relationship. I think FB has the potential, and often is, one of the best social inventions ever. It really is the easiest way to communicate and connect with most people these days and it makes it possible to reach out to people you may not have been able to otherwise. It's a fast and easy way to share with people what you want to share, while seeing other people's shares at the same time. On the other hand,  I sometimes believe it is also the root of all evil. It can allow people to open a whole Pandora's box full of drama and allows people to connect and share in ways that they really shouldn't. It can be a medium in which to spread gossip, create drama and it allows us to be lazy. It lets people who have no business being in our business, in our business. <----And that's just bad for business.

I really do love sharing with my friends on FB, but not all people on my FB are my friends. Hear me out. I have a lot of FB  ACQUAINTANCES, and very few actual FRIENDS.

Friend- somebody emotionally close: somebody who trusts and is fond of another

Acquaintance: somebody who thinks well of or is on good terms with somebody else

Huge difference.

Among friends I am a fairly open book. I share my thoughts, feelings, opinions and emotions to friends because I trust them and because I know they care. In public and among acquaintances, I keep a lot to myself, because they probably don't care and I don't feel the need to make my business, their business. Until recently, I had yet to find a way to differentiate sharing between the two on FB. I deleted some people, blocked posts from others, and tried to restrict what I said. As you can imagine there is no way to avoid pissing someone off with any of these options. You delete someone, regardless of the reason or how much you DON'T even speak and they're butt-hurt. You block posts and they question why you're such a bitch as to hide stuff from them. I avoid being myself and saying what I want to say and I'm pissed. Lose-lose situation. But then I got smart. I created a second page. One where I sought out the people I wanted on it and I am not accepting all of the other random requests. Now I can share what I want, with whom I want and not have to worry about a thing. Besides, those people are already friends with me on one page, they shouldn't get greedy.

Facebook in my opinion is almost like a mass text. I IDEALLY use it to share my "status" with people who I know will care and who will not make drama out of it. I feel that I should be able to be myself, say the things that I naturally say, cuss, be happy, be angry, be sad, whenever I damn well please. Real friends wouldn't question, look down or judge me for what I say. They also wouldn't snoop and use my words in negative ways or say nasty things on posts that have nothing to do with them. Some people talk shit about people sharing their personal lives on FB. Yeah, it is stupid, when you do so with people who aren't your real friends. I feel that the people on my FB should be people who care about my personal shit and aren't using it for drama and that I should not even have to think about whether someone will say or do something malicious. The FB problem is that we allow too many people on our pages who have the wrong intentions.

People accept friend requests from just about anyone these days. People you sat next to in college for a couple weeks. People you went to high school with 10 years ago and will NEVER see or speak to again, not even on FB. People you met randomly through someone else. People you work with, but aren't really friends with. We accept people for all of the wrong reasons. I am not a notch in the FB friend belt people. I only want to have people on my FB who I actually engage with in life. People I speak to and see regularly, real friends and family and people who I care about and who care about me. Facebook should be comprised of REAL. I am a quality over quantity girl. I don't care to be the 600th friend whom people scroll over to get to a better post or to get pissy over the things I say and WHO I AM.  If you aren't gonna talk to me and you don't care about what I say, but then secretly read my shit and stock it for ammunition to talk shit about or judge then please locate your nearest UNFRIEND button and GTFO. Nobody HAS to be FB friends. If you wouldn't notice my absence then don't ask in the first place.

If you don't KNOW me, don't request access to a medium that I share who I am on and then judge me.

I don't think that I should feel bad for saying what I want just because people who it's not intended for can read it. I really only need about 20 of my FB peeps to see what I say, my posts are only really meant for them anyway because they are the only ones who really care about the typical day to day of my life. All of the those other people don't notice a damn thing until they think it applies to them or touches on one of their interests. I find out who all of the creepers are who I never thought paid any attention to me when I post something that has anything that THEY THINK has to do with them. They don't actually comment or like things of course, but will then bring it up later.

And please don't get me wrong, I like all of the people on my FB, that's why I ever accepted their "friend request" at all, but I really don't need all of the 150 people on my FB to see what I am saying all the time. And to be honest, a lot of my acquaintances didn't really "know" me before they asked me to be their FB friend. They have probably since discovered that I am a pretty intense individual and maybe don't even like the things that I have to say. I also have professional connections now on FB and it's already bitten me in the ass. This is my PRIVATE page. If you can't understand the distinction then don't be my friend on there. Don't use my private words against me in the professional world. I know, there is something to be said about who a person is in private, but I am not a bad person. Like anyone, there are things you can say and do in private that you cannot say and do everywhere else. Doesn't mean I am a bad person in private, it means that I know the difference between when certain words are appropriate or not and when it's OK to use them. Doesn't mean that I am not a professional.

Bottomline. I don't need numbers, I need my real friends. I haven't lost sight of the fact that FB was created to connect people, GENUINELY. If you regularly interact with me and I with you.  You're safe. If you scroll past me and never comment, like, message or anything, then what's the point? Honestly. I appreciate your extension of warmth, but we could still be acquaintances outside of FB where we can share what we want with who we want.

I've said before that Facebook is like a billboard. A lot of people see it, but most people don't really care about or really get the message. They read and react to it how they want and you as the "poster" have no control over how the message is perceived. Perhaps then the answer is to choose your audience instead of letting your audience have free reign to make what they want of your words. Maybe, just maybe.