Ummmm That's None Ya!!!

So I know a lot of peeps think I am a hypocrite. Yeah, a hypocrite. Why? Because I always said I'd never get married, and I did. But let me tell you something, the word marriage really means nothing to me. It means something to the society I live in and nothing more. Why am I all of a sudden saying this? Because all of a sudden I am getting the questions about when we're having kids, which no one has asked us before. Well, first of all, if and when there are kids in anyone's life but your own is none ya, but second of all I am kind of P-O'd that people are only asking now that Travis and I are married. The word marriage never has and never will mean what our society thinks it does to me. "Marriage" means nothing to me personally. Not the religious ties and not the legal crap. The only reason we did the marriage thing was to beat the system. By this I mean that regardless of how I feel about the "institution" of marriage, I got married because if I don't "institutionalize" myself then my boy didn't get my health insurance. I'll let you in on a secret. I love Travis beyond this world. I love him with a title and without one, I love him for who he is and not for what I want him to be, he means every bit as much to me now with the piece of paper as he did before we did all of the Vegas shenanignans. I'm glad we had that moment with people, but honestly he means just as much to me without all of that. You wanna know why marriages don't work these days? Because people don't get that. I will be with him til the end of time without all of the fluff. People who need that fluff are the ones who aren't gonna last. They need that shit to distract people from the fact that they ain't gonna make it. People who have real love would be perfectly happy without the big production because what they have is real. And don't get me wrong, this is all ok for the people who do finding meaning in the word marriage. I'm not knocking that there is significant meaning for some people in it, but for people like me who never cared and had people close to them ignoring our relationship and only now asking about where our kids are now that we are married, kinda makes me wanna punch them in the face for being so shallow. We still have people in our family that insist on calling us Mr. and Mrs. Blubaugh. If they had been paying attention they would have known and could still see that I did not change my name. These same said people were upset when Travis and I didn't do all of the traditions and dances at our wedding...our wedding wasn't about that crap!!! We filled our wedding with the things we wanted so I don't care if we didn't do our "first dance" together...to each his or her own. And no, we didn't feel differently after the ceremony, as we shouldn't. We are the same two people in love with each other, the title didn't change that. I'm sorry to hear that people who feel differently after marriage have a "ball and chain" and a "better half." I feel bad for you because I don't need to say those things about Travis because I have a real relationship with my best friend and I don't feel that way about him. People who get caught up in the title usually do and that's usually their demise. So here is where kids come into play. Marriage will not make us better parents. We would have been the same parents that we will be someday without it. Our home was more stable before the paper and is the same now than most people who are married and have kids and didn't take their commitment to each other as seriously as we do.  And the reason we don't have kids yet is because we want to be ready for them in every way possible. I know, I know you can never be ready for kids, but as prepared as we can be. We're not gonna have kids and treat them the way a lot of people do and who personally should not have them and when we do decide to have kids we will be able to make it all about them. We will be at a point in our lives where our immature bullshit is set aside. We both still have some bullshit to get out of our systems and it's only fair to a child that we do this now so that when we have kids it really can be all about them. We want to be financially ready and we wanted to be where we are now in our relationship and know that we won't be another statistic of a broken home and divorced parents. I know too many people that have kids too soon and they can't make any of these adjustments. I know some great parents who did and I admire them for understanding that someone else's life is in their hands, but we're not gonna be the kind of parents that don't put our kids first. So thanks to all the people who didn't assume that now that we're married we are now "allowed" and "can" have kids and to the ones who understand that my "marriage" is about me and Travis and not the institution. And to anyone who I previously mentioned who is not like this...shame on you.