I'm Having a Moment

So as sometimes happens (I'm lying, it's a lot more than sometimes) something I just saw hit an inspirational note in me. Anyone who knows me or who has taken the time to read any of my blogs will know, I hate hate. Yes, I hate the concept, emotion, action, you name it, of hate. I'm not talking about hating your veggie-tables or small stuff like that (although you shouldn't hate those either, what if they were all you had to survive on some day :P), I am talking about the social disease that is hate. The majority of us say we are against hating on other people, except maybe for the really sick people who do enjoy it and these are the kinds of people I am talking about, but we don't always really do a whole lot to stop it. Has anyone ever noticed that evil often prevails? Or at least it seems like it does. Like I have and never will understand how people like Hitler get to the point that he did to have such power and control to do the monstrous things that he did. How?!? How in the hell did anyone listen to the words that came out of his mouth and think, "yeah, killing people who are different from us is a good idea. Yeah ok, let's start doing that tomorrow. GO TEAM!!!" Unfathomable in my mind...and his followers were just as guilty. Or even on a smaller scale, do ya ever notice that the majority of our bosses and supervisors are assholes?!? Now I'm not saying all of them are here, but MOST of them? You work for someone like that and it makes you question all of the people above you, like "what the hell were you thinking?!? How in the world did you think it was a good idea to put this person in charge of others?!?" The one person who could give a shit less about the job they have been given and the people who work for them, to be the EXAMPLE for them, is the one who gets the job and then shits on you. No bueno. So they say it's charisma...why do these horrible people have it?!?!? Don't get me wrong, there are awesome, wonderful, amazing people who do have it and do use it, but it seems like they are the minority or people find ways to squash them. I truly believe that good people really do outweigh the bad, but they're quiet...why are they the quiet ones? Why don't the shitty people shut the hell up? I don't know, you find the answer, you tell me and we'll go public. Sound good? And to the good people: KEEP BEING GOOD!!! POWER TO THE GOOD PEOPLE!!! But seriously though sometimes I think the shitty people in this world that do end up with power are just so greedy and full of themselves that they do not fear being loud. The good people in this world who could easily over-power these assholes just aren't saying anything. This is my theory. The assholes of the world (notice how many fun names for them I have? Bad people, shitty, asshole...let's see which one I use next) seem louder beause they don't care who they step on to be heard. The good people care for other people's feelings and actually have respect for the lives of others so they don't like to trample. We need to strike this and reverse it (thank you very much Willy Wonka).We need the good people to be louder all the while NOT trampling on others to be heard, and the scum of the earth people need to shut the hell up and show some respect!!! YESSSSSS!!! I know this is all very random and light-hearted sounding, but my feelings about this run deep. I truly feel that the negative energy in this world speaks too loudly and if only the positive energy in this world could join together to make more noise, this world would be a better place...that should be a bumper sticker :) But you know the idea, kinda like a restaurant or a football game or a concert...the more people you have speaking, the louder the overall noise gets, even when no one is yelling. The right people just need to speak up!!! I mean seriously if no one finds their voice then I don't think I can blame nature, God or any of the other predictions out there about the world ending, for wanting to wipe us out. The way some people act, they don't deserve to enjoy the wonderful world that we live in and they definitely don't deserve to ruin it for others. Checks and balances...So I'll leave you with that and some of my favorite quotes from someone I feel it is truly a tragedy that he was not able to do more of exactly the speaking up I am talking about. Fortunately, he did a great lot of speaking up and made a great deal of difference before the evil in this world snubbed out his light (in his life on earth sense, but never in spirit and legend), but oh the things he could have done!! He gave us the right idea, we just need to keep running with it!!

 Martin Luther King Jr:

"It may well be that the greatest tragedy of this period of social change is not the glaring noisiness of the so-called bad people, but the silence of the so-called good people. "- Martin Luther King

If you see evil people, snub it out. Never snub out the light, there is never a need for more darkness. 

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

I promise to add fuel to your fire people and to fight off any darkness that comes my way. Have you done the same? Will you do the same?

I know there are people that scoff at my attempts to spead joy such as my Campaign for Kindness where I tell other people why I love them and what I love about them or my Sharing the Joy at Christmas. I'm sure there are these same said negative people out there calling me fake or as odd as this might sound, but this is how I feel, like they feel embarrrassed for me sharing my thoughts feelings and what not. I don't care whether you like what I have to say and I have always come with the disclaimer that if ya don't like it, DON'T READ IT!!! If ya think I'm stupid for trying to be positive and spread positive then feel free to leave, delete me, cut me out of your life or whatever it takes and make sure you take my FUCK YOU with ya!!! 

I'll have a Lindsay Cocktail Please...Drink Responsibly!

A year or so ago, I took a training class at work about surviving in my job environment. More than it being about surviving the fighting, the drunkenness, the straight-up stupidity or sadness of the calls we take, it was about surviving the different personalities that you work with. I am locked up in a room for 10 hours a day a few feet away from anywhere to 5-10 other people. My job consists of very A-type personalities and needless to say being A-type and working in the stressful environment that we do, we don't always get along. Point being, this was a 2 day class stating that interacting with other people is not always easy and the problem is that we do not always understand each other. It's easy to get frustrated with someone you don't understand so I am going to share with you what I have learned and what I know about me. If you have ever been frustrated with me or liked something about me or just plain wondered why I am the way I am, I can tell you that these are some of the traits I have that make me that way. This will be a mixture of the Meyers-Briggs personality test and typical personality of my sign, Taurus. I don't believe in astrology so to speak, but I do believe the personality traits associated to the sign are pretty close. And anyone who has taken the Meyers-Briggs test in high school, college or elsewhere will know that it breaks down your values and basically shows why people are interested in certain things and why people act in different ways. My thoughts about these traits are in RED.

Meyers-Briggs
 I am an ESFJ which is Extraversion, Sensing, Feeling, Judging. which basically means:

-Highly attuned to others, using empathy to quickly understand emotional needs, motivations and concerns. Their focus is on supporting others and encouraging their growth. I am very conscious of how others feel and especially how the things I say or do can make them feel. I put myself in other people's shoes and have concern for the well-being and happiness of others. I know what it feels like to be made to feel sad, mad, happy & loved and I strive to either avoid making people feel this way or I make them feel loved beyond belief. I am a teacher at heart and I live to help others grow and understand, love and live to their potential!
-Base their decisions on personal values. They use their feeling extrenally , radiating warmth and energy. They look for and find the best in others and prize harmony and cooperation. They are warmed by approval-responding with energy and devotion- and are especially sensitive to criticism or tensions. They are likely to be warm, compassionate, supportive, loyal and trustworthy. Everything I do is based on whether I personally believe it is right or wrong or justified or not. I hate unnecessary confrontations (95% of confrontations are unnecessary in my opinion) and tensions. I like to have good relationships with people that are genuine and drama free. I don't like to be the one to start anything, but am not afraid to finish it if someone gets in my face and then all hell breaks loose. I very much need approval and recognition from those important to me especially when I feel I have gone above and beyond for something or someone. I am very much sensitive to lack of attention to these things and not being appreciated for the good and effort I do.
-See meanings and connections where others do not. Are curious about new ideas and & possibilities for contributing to the good of humanity. Imaginative and like variety and new challenges. See the potentional for growth in others and devote energy to help others to achieve it. They take responsibility for organizing interactions of colleagues, friends or family so that all are involved, harmony prevails and that people have fun. I am always trying to make some difference no matter how small or large to someone's life, making things smoother at work, donating time or money to something...I am always looking to enhance things for other people. Everyone knows that I love to plan and organize parties!! I love spending time with people and I love coming up with creative decorations, food, games, music and anything else that will make everyone have a great time and be remembered!!
-Listen and support others but also have very definite values and opinions of their own which they will express clearly. They also have a strong need for authentic intimate relationships. They bring great enthusiasm and intensity to creating and maintaining these. I am always there to lend an ear, but if you ask for help, you'll get an honest opinion. I am not afraid to say how I feel about things and will say it out loud, not to be judgmental or to discriminate against anyone else's beliefs, but I will let you know where I stand. I seek a genuine connection with every relationship I enter. If I don't think it will be genuine or will go anywhere I will keep it very on the surface. By this I mean that we will get along great, but I won't call or text or attempt to hang out all the time. I prefer quality over quantity. I have many friends, but only see a few true ones. I am always open to new friendships and I will put 100% effort, this you can count on. However, as previously mentioned, I will be hurt if I am the only one giving the effort and my "enthusiasm and intensity" in a friendship is not returned. 
-Like their lives to be well organized and will work to bring closure to ambiguous relationships or situations. I am very organized. I need planning ahead, lists and to have everything laid out in front of me beforehand. I don't do things on the fly. I don't like walking into situations I am not familiar with. I like my relationships to be drama free. I will give only so many chances for drama to stop before I slowly start shutting you out. Remember, I don't like confrontation and I don't like to be around people who aren't as enthusiastic about a great relationship as I am and I will shut you out and make it known if you cause me trouble.

My Sign: Taurus

Taurus and Independence:

Taurus is not the one who ventures out into the unknown and leads the way, Taurus is the one that will follow the leader and strengthen and build upon the discovered, in other words they are the one that will "dot the I's and cross the T's". This perseverance is given to them by their stubborn streak. Taurus stubborn streak is what gives their independence. They like to do things their way. They are perfectly fine on being alone, this way things get done the way they want them to be done. Taurus is not a follower, but they are not the brave one either. Taurus is perfectly independent. With their perseverance, they get things done and can do quite well for themselves. It is true that I may not be the one to go out and start my own company or something like that, but you can bet if you have me on your team I will notice every detail. I will go out of my way to find ways to make things work smoother and I am 100%  all for good communication. My work is very important to me and I can be on top of the world if I love it or miserable if I hate and feel like I am not making the kind of difference that I want to make. Although, I love harmony and working together, I am very stubborn. If it comes to something I am serious about I will take the reins and run the show. If I have an image in mind I will make it happen to the fullest. I am not afraid to do things alone if no one agrees and I will not follow something or someone I do not believe in. 

Taurus and Friendship:

A Taurus is an excellent friend. Taurus has few close friends as opposed to many acquaintances. The few people they hold dear to them are guarded and protected. Their friends are treated like family and they are fiercely loyal and dependable. Taurus loves to be the host or hostess. Although not a total social butterfly, they can be shy around strangers, the people who Taurus let into their lives are lavishly catered to when Taurus decides to throw a party, they decorate and present everything lavishly. Taurus will always pamper themselves and their close group of friends. As previously mentioned, I prefer quality over quantity. You will get 100% effort from me if you are in my close circle of friends or family, but I will not spread myself thin on relationships that are not reciprocated or going to be in-depth. I will totally have your back and will thrive on being turned to and wanted to be around. I do spoil those around me, finding ways to spend time together, finding the most thoughtful gifts and throwing extravagant parties where everyone can have fun! I am awesome to have as a friend and should be considered a terrible enemy as you do not want to see the mean side of me. All this can be your's if you're willing to do the same for me. I do not do one-sided friendships!!!

Taurus Temperament:

Taurus are deeply sensitive, the slightest comment or negative remark will be taken personally and they can easily get offended or hurt. Their stubborn streak results in laziness. They can be very lazy when someone gives them orders or wants them to do something they do not want to do. They are not lazy when it comes to themselves. This is very true, like it or not. It's not like you can't say anything around me, but I live for the positive. I think negative comments or flat out shitty comments or "jokes" that really aren't jokes are uncalled for. I don't believe in beating people down and I think if you don't have something nice to say, you shouldn't say it at all. Again, I take it very personally when I put a lot of effort into you and you don't feel that it's important enough to do the same for me and then you will notice my efforts and attention taper off. I hate obligations. Anything I am forced to do or expected to do and I don't want to will irritate me. Like work for instance. If I am not doing what I love, I will dread every minute of it and it won't be a secret. I do all things for the betterment of myself and others. 

Taurus Deep Inside:

Taurus are not fond of change. In fact, if change is imminent, they get very nervous and worried. They do not like anything new because anything new is unknown and Taurus fears the unknown. Taurus needs order in their lives and when they do not have order, they get very anxious. Taurus will cut themselves off from the unfamiliar in order to avoid the feelings of insecurity that arise when new experiences and situations are present. Taurus do not express their feelings openly and their inner self is contained and secretive. Many people do not know how sensitive Taurus really is, they hide it well. As a result, they are often emotionally hurt when the wrong things are said, they take things too personally sometimes. Taurus avoids talking about their emotions and many people never really know how they feel. As previously mentioned, I am very organized. I like to know what's ahead. I want a map and I want to know the steps from beginning to end. I know that doesn't sound very fun, but I am not spontaneous in this aspect. I don't like to be thrown into things because I don't react well on the fly. Give me a topic to give a speech about and I will give you a wonderful presentation with planning. Pick on me sitting in class, and I am a deer in headlights. I am very high strung and anxious and it takes a lot for me to bring myself down. I am very good at hiding all of these things so people are usually surprised when I am freaking out. And again yes, I do take things very personally. 

Taurus in a Nutshell:

Taurus is the one who has immense perseverance, even when others have given up, the Taurus rages on. Solid and persistent, just like the bull, which is Taurus' well suited symbol. Taurus's have a well known reputation for being stubborn, which is not necessarily a bad thing. The stubborn streak can cause Taurus to butt heads and conflict with other strong character types. Taurus are not fond of change. They like the familiar and routine comfort of life. Taurus is easy going and not one to pick a fight but should some poor souls attempt to provoke Taurus, the wrath will be known, for they have a temper underneath the calm surface. Taurus are very responsive to their surroundings. They like decorations, color, anything that appeals to all the senses. Taurus like possessions and the Taurus home is nicely decorated with lots of things. Taurus are down to earth, they do not like gaudy, flashy or over the top things. They prefer comfortable and creative settings and objects. Taurus likes security, in every aspect of their lives from home, to love, to career. Taurus can be secretive, opinionated and stingy. Taurus tend to be self-indulgent and lazy, Taurus are master procrastinators of the astrology zodiac! They do however have a strong, persistent drive that comes to life when they chose, and no one would ever know that they are lazy. The secret to this is that their laziness is pushed aside when it comes to themselves. Pretty much!!!


This is where I got the astrology sign stuff. http://zodiac-signs-astrology.com/zodiac-signs/taurus.htm

It's All About Me, Deal With It

My new motto!! Actually, that is a flat out lie, I have been saying that shit for years!!! What it means to me now though has and is continuing to evolve. In my college years when this phrase first became popular with me, it was for selfish reasons. I was still a straight out of high school brat with a lot to learn about myself and the world in general. It really was all about me and screw anyone who got in my way. Now, I am in love with the phrase for a totally different reason. It still sounds kind of selfish though doesn't it? Well, it's not. What it now means for me is that I need to do things in this life for me and not worry so much about others.  My goal is to still give and care for others, but to not care so much what they think about me or what they will think of the things I do especially when it is negative. I could, and quite frankly already have, started going crazy worrying my pretty little head about what people will think of the things I do. But I'm now coming to the realization that despite what most people think, their thoughts are just that...tiny invisible voices in THEIR head. Sometimes, somehow these tiny little voices escape their way out of someone's mouth, but it's just noise to be ignored. They are not moats in front of a castle with giant crocodiles, they are not alien force fields that'll zap me if I try to get through. They are a brain creation of someone else's and they have no bearing on what I do from here on out. So from now on if I say it or I do it, it's for me. Nope, I was not taking into consideration what effect it might have on you at all. If it isn't directed at you and it doesn't have your name on it, then it's none ya and if you don't have anything positive to contribute and you don't have something nice to say...Thumper says, "DON'T SAY NOTHIN' AT ALL!!!" Take that, in yo face, karate chop and high ya!! Ha ha ha, I make myself chuckle a bit!! ;) So from now on I'd like to save some peeps some time. I will no longer be accepting negativity in any form of currency and I will be saying and doing what I please without your consent. Any complaints here on out referencing these new changes will be forwarded directly to the Complaints Department, but I warn you, no one works there. I am allowed to make decisions about my life no matter how small or large they are without an unwanted panel of commentators. I will do things to make my life brighter and that of other's without worrying about how bad that makes someone else look for not doing the same. I am no longer face saving for other people who are shitty. If I do something nice and it sheds light on your scum then ya better get to cleanin' up. I don't need to back down from being a good person because some peeps don't know how to step up. Don't rain on other people's parade and shed darkness on other people's light. There are already way too many people in that line of work. I am gonna be me whether you like it or not. If I don't ask your opinion, don't give it. This is my plan and I have full right to follow it without regard to anyone else. The one exception will be if ya got my back and agree with me, but anything else will not be tolerated. Life is complicated enough living out the dramas for one lifetime to be getting involved in anyone else's. Everyone would be a lot richer if they just kept their own unsolicited 2 cents. Live for yourself and stop butting into other people's lives unless it's to genuinely enhance it.

This is MY Life and I have the Rights to it!!!

Some of you may have seen a previous post a couple weeks ago about someone sucking at life and being fired from it?!? Whether you did or not, now is the time to elaborate on the situation. So here's the sitch...I have been sitting in front of a crossroads in my life for quite some time now and anyone who is close to me or even remotely pays attention to my posts can see that. It has become painfully, and I mean painfully, obvious that I chose to go the wrong direction career-wise in my life. My heart was and still is in teaching and it's too late for that. Teachers are being cut. Art, PE and Music teachers are going bye bye and regular classroom teachers are having to do those classes as well. Classes are holding up to 40 kids in some districts, yes 40. How could you possibly teach and keep track of that many?!? I've been told about the "pull out system" where you get a group of kids and start teaching them a topic and then 30 minutes later they rotate in the middle of your lesson and  a new group comes in. And all you do is teach for tests, that I personally do not believe in, and all flexibility and creativity in teaching is gone. So yes, teaching is what I wanted to do, but I can't justify going back to school and spending more money to still not be happy. I was also good at journalism, but it bored me. So now I am stuck at a job I do not love, with a schedule I hate, still the lowest woMAN on the totem pole for almost 3 years now. I am tired of being handed my schedule at everyone else's mercy and I am tired of feeling like this is not my place and constantly dreaming of something more. I hate spending my entire weekend dreading the day I have to go back to work. Yeah, it's like that. I have tried to tell myself that this is a great job and that I should be happy with it, but saying it doesn't make it so. It is a great job for people who love working in law enforcement, but I knew while I was working on my degree that there was no place for me working it. I love the crazy criminal justice cases, but I just wanna hear about it, I don't want to do it. I probably should have become a crime writer or something.  So I have been moseying along from CJ job to CJ job knowing this shit isn't for me. This is in some people's blood, but it isn't in mine. So now you know how I got where I am and here is how the person who is fired from life comes into play. In my line of work you have to have heart and it has to be in your blood. So for some of the people I work with who are like this, I give them major props and I'm glad you have found your niche. The unfortunate side effect to this is that there is very much a brother or sisterhood to this line of work and they take it very personally. I get that, but they can be very shitty about people who don't feel the way they do. Well, I apologize to these peeps, but I don't have heart in what I do, I realize that I should and this is why I am trying to leave them in peace, but I have heard some shitty things about the way they treat people who leave. It's almost traitorous to them and they explain it away as "they just couldn't hack it." Well, maybe so in some cases, they claim that only 2% of the population can do what I do. I can do it, but I don't love it. I want to go to work enjoying what I do and quite frankly I get really sick of knowing all the dirt in the city I live in and hearing people's drunken stupidity and downright disregard for other people. I want to work with positive things and not negative and if I had stuck to my guns and turned out a teacher maybe I could have. But what really pushed me over the edge and has pushed me to start looking elsewhere finally is that I have been somewhere for over 2 years that I am not in love with and I am still at the dead bottom and people wonder why I am unhappy getting a schedule I don't like. Well, most people do not want to work 8 pm to 6 am with Monday, Tuesday and Wednesdays off and work every fucking holiday. Am I right?!? I AM RIGHT. I know I knew this when I got the job, but that doesn't make it fair that someone like me who has been at the bottom for almost 3 years should always have to work EVERY holiday and EVERY weekend and get the shit shift for a WHOLE YEAR!!! No one gets the shift they don't like for a whole year unless they took it except for me. So this jerk at work who kept bugging me about my schedule asks me if I liked what I got for the second time and when I said no for the second time he proceeded to tell me that other people had stuff going on in their lives, like I needed to be happy with what I got and understand that other people had shit to do so I need to quit bitching. Well, first of all he asked me, I didn't offer my feelings and whether I am at the bottom or not does not mean I should be shit on. So basically other people can have stuff going on in their lives, but I can't and should just be happy I have a job and because I unfortunately am the last to have been hired, my life has to work around everyone else's shit?!? WRONG-O!! No thank you very much, see ya. I have dreams and I have a life too and I am not gonna spend 10 years doing something I don't love to still not have a good shift, days off or holidays off. Yeah, there are about 5 people out of the 30 I work with that actually get this luxury and they have been there like 20 years...shit ain't happening. I know this is the nature of the work I am in and I made a mistake entering myself into it. I will leave it to the people with heart and I will continue on my quest for something I can show my heart in. Time to move on and make me happy for a change.

Ummmm That's None Ya!!!

So I know a lot of peeps think I am a hypocrite. Yeah, a hypocrite. Why? Because I always said I'd never get married, and I did. But let me tell you something, the word marriage really means nothing to me. It means something to the society I live in and nothing more. Why am I all of a sudden saying this? Because all of a sudden I am getting the questions about when we're having kids, which no one has asked us before. Well, first of all, if and when there are kids in anyone's life but your own is none ya, but second of all I am kind of P-O'd that people are only asking now that Travis and I are married. The word marriage never has and never will mean what our society thinks it does to me. "Marriage" means nothing to me personally. Not the religious ties and not the legal crap. The only reason we did the marriage thing was to beat the system. By this I mean that regardless of how I feel about the "institution" of marriage, I got married because if I don't "institutionalize" myself then my boy didn't get my health insurance. I'll let you in on a secret. I love Travis beyond this world. I love him with a title and without one, I love him for who he is and not for what I want him to be, he means every bit as much to me now with the piece of paper as he did before we did all of the Vegas shenanignans. I'm glad we had that moment with people, but honestly he means just as much to me without all of that. You wanna know why marriages don't work these days? Because people don't get that. I will be with him til the end of time without all of the fluff. People who need that fluff are the ones who aren't gonna last. They need that shit to distract people from the fact that they ain't gonna make it. People who have real love would be perfectly happy without the big production because what they have is real. And don't get me wrong, this is all ok for the people who do finding meaning in the word marriage. I'm not knocking that there is significant meaning for some people in it, but for people like me who never cared and had people close to them ignoring our relationship and only now asking about where our kids are now that we are married, kinda makes me wanna punch them in the face for being so shallow. We still have people in our family that insist on calling us Mr. and Mrs. Blubaugh. If they had been paying attention they would have known and could still see that I did not change my name. These same said people were upset when Travis and I didn't do all of the traditions and dances at our wedding...our wedding wasn't about that crap!!! We filled our wedding with the things we wanted so I don't care if we didn't do our "first dance" together...to each his or her own. And no, we didn't feel differently after the ceremony, as we shouldn't. We are the same two people in love with each other, the title didn't change that. I'm sorry to hear that people who feel differently after marriage have a "ball and chain" and a "better half." I feel bad for you because I don't need to say those things about Travis because I have a real relationship with my best friend and I don't feel that way about him. People who get caught up in the title usually do and that's usually their demise. So here is where kids come into play. Marriage will not make us better parents. We would have been the same parents that we will be someday without it. Our home was more stable before the paper and is the same now than most people who are married and have kids and didn't take their commitment to each other as seriously as we do.  And the reason we don't have kids yet is because we want to be ready for them in every way possible. I know, I know you can never be ready for kids, but as prepared as we can be. We're not gonna have kids and treat them the way a lot of people do and who personally should not have them and when we do decide to have kids we will be able to make it all about them. We will be at a point in our lives where our immature bullshit is set aside. We both still have some bullshit to get out of our systems and it's only fair to a child that we do this now so that when we have kids it really can be all about them. We want to be financially ready and we wanted to be where we are now in our relationship and know that we won't be another statistic of a broken home and divorced parents. I know too many people that have kids too soon and they can't make any of these adjustments. I know some great parents who did and I admire them for understanding that someone else's life is in their hands, but we're not gonna be the kind of parents that don't put our kids first. So thanks to all the people who didn't assume that now that we're married we are now "allowed" and "can" have kids and to the ones who understand that my "marriage" is about me and Travis and not the institution. And to anyone who I previously mentioned who is not like this...shame on you.

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

I've learned many a lesson in my 26 years on this earth, but maybe none so important as learning to love rather than hate. I think it is instinctual for humans to compete and feel like they must fend off any other human that comes their way, but honestly we're going about this all the wrong way. If only we could learn to see each other as being on the same team rather than as an opponent we could get so much further in this world, not only as individuals, but as a whole human race. I know, sounds kinda cheesy right? Well, that's only because too few of us see life this way. I admit, I have my battle moments and I have been known to put my game face on a time or two and duke it out for something with someone, and there are obviously some situations where this is ok, but overall we all fight each other way too much when we really don't need to. I have lost many an opportunity and many a friend to being this way and I am now gradually learning that when I don't do this the people and relationships in my life are much more fruitful. My life is so much warmer when I put the petty shit aside and really see people and embrace them for who they are. We all have way too many differences to grasp onto them all and put them on blast for each other. As soon as I realized the joy and benefit others brought to my life rather than focusing on how they were going to take from me, things got a whole lot better. Now when I see people doing this it actually kinda makes me sick. It makes me kinda sad to see people wasting perfectly good relationships by being petty although they only have themselves to blame. The way I see it, there are people who come into your life at all different points of your life. Some for a short time and some will be there forever. Some relationships you have to put more effort into and work harder at and some will only be a tiny speck in your overall timeline. Either way start out every relationship with no ulterior motives...be the best you and the best friend, family member or whatever you can be. If you're already into a relationship and you've been petty than stop right now and turn it all around. Don't waste anymore time and don't let your relationships get any worse. This is especially important with family who really don't ever "go away." If you've gotta be together at every family function for the rest of your lives, wouldn't you want it to be happy time spent with those you love rather than petty drama? This won't work for everyone, believe me I've tried. There are some people close to me that no matter how many times I have tried to explain this, they haven't changed, but at least I know is that it's not my fault and I did what I could. My job now is to know this is how they are and realize that I can't do anything about them and adjust my relationship with them as needed. I also know to embrace the people in my life who aren't like this and progress through these relationships wholeheartedly and make the most of the most I have. So please peeps, just learn to love and I promise at least for the most part, you shall be loved in return.

You SUCK at Life and are therefore FIRED!!!

Hope you all are ready cause this shit's about to get real!!! It ain't no big secret that I am not at all amused by assholes...nope not one iota, not in the slightest, not a smidgen and not even a itsy bitsy teenie weenie (yellow polka dot bikini) mother-effin' bit!!! I am no saint, I have had my moments and I will continue to have a moment here and there, but the point in life is to be conscious of times your inner asshole shines it's shitty head and then recognize it and put a stop to it. Next time you feel an asshole moment coming on, suppress it and be a decent human being and don't do it anymore. It's that simple. Seriously, this world would be a much better place if people could figure this the fuck out, but NOOOOO some people are scum enough to find joy in being an asshole and I am sick of being subjected to it!!!! Oh some will say, "this is life, that's just how some people are." Ummm how about no and you are no longer allowed to be an asshole in my life for free...I'm forming the asshole police and you've got some hard time ahead of you!!! What makes these people think they have the right to be like this to other people?!?! I for one know I feel like shit after I say or do something even remotely shitty to someone. Do they have no conscience?!? Cause if not then they are free to go straight to hell now, do not pass GO and do not collect $200!! These people are why this world is going to shit, because people have no regard for how their words and actions affect other people. And what's worse, these people do this with literally no shame. They say and do these things with a fake smile on their faces like people like me can't see through their slime. Well, guess what?!?! I see you and I don't play games with people like you and if I weren't forced to be in your presence, trust me I wouldn't be. I've been mistaken for being soft-spoken, but don't be fool enough to think that. You're one lucky SOB if you never hear how hard my words can be, so I'd tread lightly if you'd like to stay in the clear. It's unfortunate that I have to keep my thoughts to myself and have to be uncomfortable because I know if I say nothing, I have to deal with your shit and if I say something I have to also have that tension over my head. How about you just stop being a shit and not put me in this position?!? There is nothing more shitty than putting people in an unnecessary position like this because your issues are too great than to just GROW THE FUCK UP!!! It's all good though because Lindsay has a plan...soon I shall be in a position where I can watch you eat your words and leave you behind to sit in your own bullshit. You're right, we've never been "friends" because I, let me repeat, I chose not to be. You tried and you failed because I don't associate myself with people like you. I have always and will always choose to be on my own than to lower myself to the standards of people of your caliber. It's no loss to me because you are in no way a gain to my life and I see right through you, kinda like you're bathin' in Windex. I don't do fake so I'm sorry that your pathetic feelers are hurt because I wanted nothing to do with you. I'm ok with being thought of as a bitch because I realize that I'd rather stand alone than be surrounded by fake people...I've worn that label proudly all my life, you're just not used to having your ego hurt. But go ahead, waste more of mine, your's and everyone's lives around you with drama...such a sad, sad existence and I do not pity you for you have brought it upon yourself. So here is your severance because people like you are fired from life and shouldn't be allowed to socialize and further spread your kind of epidemic: grow up or choose to wallow in your own shit for life. Weigh that in your head for a second or not, your choice, just leave me the fuck out of it.